I'm a long-time geek fangirl. Started with my love of Starsky & Hutch in the 70's, grew with The Hardy Boys, and all things Star Wars. On to much television, movies, books, comics, etc.
I write too. Some slash, mostly Starsky & Hutch. You can find those on my AO3 page
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend was having trouble with my bras when we started getting sexual and to figure it out he tried one of mine on (putting it on and taking it off) and he has not had a problem since.
So much of this kind of bullshit (bras are hard, vaginas are complicated, the female orgasm is this impossible unicorn myth thing, etc) are just extensions of the whole idea of masculine entitlement to feminine sexuality. It’s the idea that if you Man correctly, if you are by your own definition Nice Guy and a Good Man (much less any kind of Hero, which is part of why the sexual assault rate explodes with sports stars, military, etc) then you have earned the female(s) of your choice. They are supposed to be hot and willing and exactly to your liking, and the hardest part should be figuring out which one your Heart Really Wants. And that’s only if you’re a really conservative, Traditional Romantic guy. Otherwise, it’s just supposed to be figuring out which one(s) you want tonight.
Any woman who refuses, of course (which doesn’t just mean refusing to have sex with you, but can be as simple as refusing to look the way you would find it pleasing for her to look, even if she’s a total stranger on the street), is a horrible bitchteaseslut who is breaking the social contract, and a lot of guys will just “take what they’re owed” or at least punish the violator anyway, with all the regret and hesitation they would show in pounding, kicking, and rocking a vending machine that wasn’t giving them their snack after they’d put in the coins. Because it’s seen as a social transaction, a promise made by the universe that they will receive a reward rather than a choice made between two humans of equal value. And this, kiddos, is what we call rape culture.
But hey, let’s say that Captain Bigshot actually does find a genuinely willing partner! Again, it’s supposed to be something that Just Happens. Educating himself about vaginas, bras, etc. would not only mean implying a disturbing level of personal responsibility, but also get worryingly close to the idea that this is another human who matters. Instead, they’re just supposed to work like porn actresses or - let’s be frank - sex dolls. The man does whatever instinct is vaguely thrusting at, and the hole-owner is supposed to be naked, wet, feel fantastic, be willing to do anything or have anything done to them, and all the while moan and writhe orgasmicly while congratulating the man on the glorious size of his awesomeness in all things.
She should want him because he wants her. Her bra should just fall off because he wants her boobs naked now. Her vulva should look like his favorite porn star’s because he wants it to. He should be able to do the most complicated sex techniques immediately and flawlessly because he wants to. She should cum screaming his name because he wants her to. Because western rape culture sexuality is all about what he wants. It’s wish fulfillment at its worst.
And he shouldn’t have to do anything like learn how to operate bras (much less learn how to navigate consent) because after all, hasn’t he already earned it all by being male?